positivity

My funny and wonderful brother said something the other day ( a day I spent with 6th graders that enjoy bad-mouthing each other) that made me think.  

I sent him that video- the one with the totally adorable asian boy singing "I'm Yours"- and told him that I wanted the kid for myself.  My brother replied "Well, he isn't singing English, and he has a freakishly amazing ability to play music at age 4, so he must be Korean- I can probably find him for you" (my bro lives in Korea).

Why'd that make me think?  Look at it again.  It's a compliment, right?  It's also a prejudicial and racial statement.  My brother rocks, he has managed to make statements like that positive.  Why don't we do that as a society?

Lemme give you some examples- and they might make some people angry- but just know that what I am about to say I might not believe and what I do believe is said with love and respect:

Instead of "Mexicans coming to the US don't bother to learn English"  why don't we say "I applaud those from Mexico that are able to learn the difficult English language and maintain their birth language as well" ?

or "Black people are all gangsters and thugs"  why not say "Black people are so good at sports"

or "White people are woosies"  becomes "White people are non-accostive"

Obviously some of the prejudice are still lies- as all people from one race are never exactly the same- but at least it's more positively prejudicial.

We could keep this positivity up whilst walking through our daily life too- huh?  That lady that just cut you off, wow, she managed to fit her big car into such a small space!  The woman doesn't need driving school- she needs an award for tetris or something.    The kid that just lied to you didn't lie, he is honing his creative storytelling skills.

No- just teasing- not like that.  Some people need to be called out for their negative actions in a constructive way.  They need to see reprecussions.

What I am saying is that we need to harp on the good traits our people (friends, family, class, society, etc) have rather than focusing on the negative.  My mom's cat Lily should be appreciated for her spunk and entertainment qualities.  I might not have mopped today- but you can appreciate that I cooked dinner and looked pretty while doing it.  The dinner might not have been fatty and greasy like you like, but it was healthy and your stomach will thank me later.

You get the picture?  good.  My brain just stopped working.  I couldn't give any more examples.
There are a lot of these nice "programs" out there- operation nice, post it notes, etc....all trying to get people to be kind and complimentary.  it's good for everybody's souls.

Laziness and Such

My mom wrote a post last week about Laziness (She's on the sidebar->, Wanderings of an Elusive Mind).  It got me to thinking.  The definition of laziness is subjective, isn't it?

I'd define laziness as someone who doesn't take care of their responsibilities.  Someone who expects others to do everything for them, even if they can do it for themselves.  Someone who is slovenly and glutonous to an extreme. 

My mom has thoughts sometimes that she is lazy- because she has a lot of free time and chooses to spend it doing things she enjoys.  I think that is smart, not lazy!  I've been to her house- the bed is actually made daily, the dogs and cats are clean and fed,  the floor and counters are clean, the dishes done, the furniture pretty much dusted.  I walk in there and feel comfortable enough to sit and relax- it is not yucky.  Her bills are paid, her husband fed (even if it is just a sandwich- she still has a full fridge!)...etc. etc.  All her requirements are taken care of.  If she chooses to knit or nap after that- so be it!  If she chooses to feed herself a sandwich instead of a five course gourmet meal- so be it! whatever!

Some might call me lazy.  I don't exercise.  I sit and read or do crafts each night.  I sleep in until 10 if I am not working.  I like naps.  But- I do work when possible, I make dinner when it is my turn, I wash my own dishes, I do my own laundry, my bills are paid (pretty much- sorry ambulance guy..), my ducks are in a row.  No one does for me what I can do myself, amnd I pitch in to help others. 

Do I or does my mom walk around appearing busy?  I know people who feel the need to do this! One lives with me, and will wash my dish before I am done eating.  Just to be busy, so he feels successful and un-lazy.

I guess it breaks down into groups- those that value process, and those that value product.  I like the product that comes from making dinner or brownies.  My mom likes the product that comes from knitting- but I think we value the creative process of them more.  We do it for the enjoyment.
The people that value product seem more aggressive.  The "look what I did"ers- Ex liked to clean the kitchen and have us all come look at what he did- and we'd clap and cheer for him.  The accolades probably help the look what I didders, too.  The clean dish man I live with likes to rattle off what he accomplished everyday, to each of us in the house.  Everyday.  It makes him feel good.
I can't tell you what I did today- I worked, then I did a little of this and a little of that.  I pittered as I call it.  I do like to finish something each day- that's my accomplishment- to actually finish something rather than having a thousand half done projects laying around, I now have only 999!  But the finish is not the product- it's the fruition of the process that's the gem for me.
OH_ I babble- but at least I know what I am talking about!